FINDING VOICE

The night after the election, instead of doing my regular piano practicing, I sat down with Rise Up Singing and played John Lennon’s Imagine. It’s become my anthem. Then I went through the entire book, and played a whole bunch of songs that give voice to hope–even if hope is so wispy right now, it’s hard to find enough to lift myself out of bed every morning.

Photo: D. Dina Friedman

I played Let it Be, Love Call Me Home, The Rose, If We Only Had Love, and How Can I Keep from Singing.

And I sang along.

I’ve been struggling with vocal issues during the past couple of years, which has made singing difficult. But I’m now taking voice lessons and it has been thrilling to start recovering my singing voice. When I can sing without losing my breath or croaking into raspy-ness, I feel giddy with power.

And these things feel like what I need right now–giddiness, and, at least, a flicker of power.

In the writing world we talk a lot about finding or accessing one’s own writing voice. It can often take months or years before we find our “groove,” a way of expression that feels uniquely our own.

And in writing, our voice can change over the years as we experiment with new and different approaches. As in singing, we might at times lose our voice (writers’ block) for a while before we find it again.

Let’s trust that even in this very difficult and scary time we will find our voices and use them to speak our truths.

And let’s keep holding onto the vision of Imagine.

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Leaning Into Hope

Today (Election Day) is going to be a hard day for many of us. And it’s likely we won’t know the outcome tonight–or what the aftermath will bring if the election is contested and violence erupts. It’s pretty f-ing scary.

Some people say they’re feeling optimistically nauseous. Others just report feeling nauseous. And again–likely thanks to climate change–it’s going to be unseasonably warm in New England. One of the three maple trees that shares my property is still quite glorious.

Photo: D. Dina Friedman

I will lean into the beauty of that tree as a way of reaching toward hope.

According to Rabbi Shai Held from the Hadar Institute, Hope is not the same thing as optimism. Optimism belies the gravity of the moment by painting it over with rosy-ness. Hope, according to philosopher Paul Ricoeur, is “a passion for the possible.” Philosopher Terry Eagleton in his book, Hope Without Optimism defines hope as, “a movement toward the good, not simply a craving for it.”

In other words, Rabbi Held argues, “hope involves commitment.”

I’ve already voted, so today I will continue to research phone numbers for voters in Pennsylvania who need to cure faulty ballots. And I’ll also write my daily poem for 30 Poems in November, because art matters. Here is the poem I wrote for 30 Poems in November on Election Day 2020. I think it’s still relevant. Hopefully it will be reassuring. Or inspirational.

ELECTION DAY 2020
D. Dina Friedman

Remember, a strong rain is what we need.
Plant the tulips, the daffodils,
before the ground hardens, and remember
the miracle of mud on your baby fingers,
your great-grandmother, who crossed chopping seas
to avoid the mobs with the knives. Remember,
as you stand outside today holding your sign,
or entering to make your mark in the oval,
you are one of a chain of humans
whose most grievous sin was trying
to make the world better. Remember
the small creatures taking refuge
under the lawn, and the children ripped
from their parents’ arms at the border.
Reach for them. Remember waves
are part of the ocean and you are water.
Swim. Let it hold you from the outside and in.
Drink a river of water today. Hold the flow
in your trembling belly and remember the moon
and your magic. How you were born
to hold the world like a large water-filled bowl.
Ask a loved one to touch your cheek
just above where the mask ends, and tell you
the morning sun will rise out of the desert,
the wind will blow away the dust.

And here’s another poem that burrowed deep into my heart: Accepting Heaven at Great Basin by Nathalie Handel. I’ve found it so helpful in getting through the past few days. Hopefully you will, too.

I may also go to the garden center and buy some bulbs to plant. And knowing that my candidate smiles more than the other one, I’m wearing this shirt today for luck. And trying, myself, to keep smiling.

Photo: D. Dina Friedman

Holding the Stories of Others

In 2014, I visited the Galilee, and stayed with one of three Jewish families in the Druze village of Peki’in. They were an older couple, Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands, and they lived right next door to the carob tree that Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, author of the Jewish mystical book, the Kabbalah, supposedly subsisted on for 13 years when he fled the Romans and had to hide out in a cave.

In addition to visiting the tree, we visited a “national park” nearby, which was mostly filled with scrubby desert flora. But in the middle of the area sat an old stone church, and in front of the church sat an old man wearing a keffiyeh. Our host asked the man why he was there and the man told us his story. He had been 11 years old in 1948 when the Israeli soldiers came into his village. They told his mother she had to leave–for just a couple of weeks, they said. They needed to do some work and then it would be fine to return. They could leave most of their things–no need to take the donkey.

When they returned, the entire village had been razed. Only the church was left standing. Later the government turned the area into a national park, ironically charging admission for this man to enter his own village, where he sat day after day on a one-person vigil to commemorate what had happened to his home.

Later that night, our host told his story. He’d been a “hidden child,” sheltered by a Christian family during the war. But the trauma of being left by his parents (who ended up killed in the death camps) had never fully subsided.

Last night I went to hear a reading and talk from the Palestinian poet Mosab Abu Toha, who, in response to a question about the value of writing poems at times of such death and devastation, said that as poets we need to hang on to the stories–and we have a responsibility to tell them.

Mosab Abu Toha’s work does just that. He portrays Gaza through the lens of the people that live there. I think this is one of the reasons that poet Audre Lorde said, Poetry is not a luxury; it’s a necessity, the quote that begins Abu Toha’s new book, Forest of Noise.

When I went to the border in early 2020, I heard many stories from people that kept me awake at night, and kept me crying for days and weeks after I returned. I wrote poems about some of these stories; and I also wrote poems about the man in front of the Church in the Galilee and our Holocaust survivor host in Peki’in. But I continue to worry that capturing these stories in poems is not enough. For weeks, months, and even now, all of us on the border trip have continued to feel the weight of these stories. How can we keep ourselves healthy and lean into joy without discounting or ignoring the moral imperative for action that these stories should lead us to?

And how do we untangle the knots when stories contradict each other? How can we move into a space that rejects the idea of right and wrong, a space that has no sides?

My friend and compañera on the border trip carried this sign everywhere she went.

Photo: D. Dina Friedman

May it be so. B’aruch Ha’Shem. Inshallah.

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