As the publication date for my new book, Immigrants, draws closer, I’ve had a few more insomnia-driven nights than usual. And the question that keeps me up more than any others is: What if people don’t like my book? 

The word “publish” derives from the Latin word publicare, which means to “make public.” So, yes, when you publish your work it’s no longer you and your writing curled up in a cozy room. Your creative baby is out there for public scrutiny–your heart, stripped down to be as raw and vulnerable as you can stand. It’s not for everyone.

I like to think of myself as being relatively thick-skinned. Yet, even when I post published poems on social media I absolutely count the number of likes. Why did one recent poem get 46 likes and the other only 10? Was there something wrong with the second poem? Was it a bad poem?  And was that quick  “wonderful,” in the comments meant as a heartfelt response to the work, or a simple message of support from someone who might like me, even if they’re tepid, or confused, or maybe even turned off by my words.

I could get all huffy and say, My writing and I are one and the same! Love me, love my words! Understand and resonate with every single one of them! If you don’t, there’s something wrong with you. 

Or, more likely, something wrong with me! 

Because, ultimately, the writer is the chef serving up the tasty nuggets. So if the eater doesn’t like them, then the chef must not being doing their job.

Unless the chef is making an array of rhubarb pies, muffins, and turnovers and serving them to a crowd of people who can’t stand the taste of rhubarb.

Veganbaking.net from USA, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

One of my writing mentors (Pat Schneider, founder of Amherst Writers & Artists) said we should think of our writing as a type of music. Some people just don’t like jazz. Others can’t stand classical music, or country music. So if someone doesn’t respond to your writing in the way you might like them to, that doesn’t always mean that you’re the problem. They just may not jive with your progression of harmonies.

Still, it was hard when one of my novels got a mediocre review. And despite the book winning awards and getting a lot of other very good reviews, this was the review I remembered. Negativity bias, (taking negative information more seriously and intensely than positive information) is a real thing. And it’s not a flaw in our personality. It’s connected to our innate “fight-or-flight” response.

I think it’s fine to choose not to publish, to share your work only with people whose reactions will be uplifting and encouraging, or choose not to share your work at all. But if you do choose to set out on the thorny  publication path, try not to get swept up in any negative comments that might get flung your way. Instead, thank all those people on social media who took the time to write “wonderful,” because they cared about you–whether they genuinely liked your writing or not.

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