Herbert Lanks, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

High above Cayuga’s waters
There’s an awful smell
Some say it’s Cayuga’s waters
Some say it’s Cornell…

I can’t honestly say whether the story of the Cornell gang rape would have hit me as hard as it did if I weren’t a Cornell alum. I’m sure that any similar story, no matter where it happened, would evoke the same reactions of revulsion, anger and despair, but its association with a place I idolized as the turning point in my escape into my own life opens up even deeper wounds.

Thankfully, I was not a victim of sexual assault at Cornell. My “me-too” stories–far tamer, but still incidents that never should have happened–took place at other locales. They include gropes on the rush-hour subway when I was a young teen, some asshole in hip, liberal Northampton MA calling out from the parking lot by the Thornes Market walkway to lift up my shirt so he could see my breasts, and a post-graduation trip to southern France with my college boyfriend where a strange hand unzipped our tent in the middle of the night and reached into my sleeping bag to fondle me. When I woke enough from my fuzzy sleep and figured out that this hand was not the hand of the person sleeping beside me, I screamed, and the hand slowly withdrew, zipped up the tent flap, and disappeared into the darkness.

My boyfriend woke up and when I told him what happened he said, “I can understand where he was coming from. He must have been horny seeing all those topless women at the beach.”

Just thinking about his response makes the air stick in my throat all over again. Should I be surprised that he was also a Cornell alum, even if he wasn’t a frat boy? The crowd I traveled in–artsy folks tinged with a love of sci-fi and re-enacting the Middle Ages–stayed as far away from frats as possible. Even 50 years ago, when overt sexism and objectification of women was much more of a cultural norm, the women in my orbit, all knew that frat parties could mean serious trouble,

I’d like to think that 50 years of feminist consciousness raising would have made more of a difference in what’s considered acceptable behavior on a college campus. But despite the administrator’s milquetoast statements–straight out of the crisis communication playbook I taught my business students at UMass for 20 years (deny and minimize offensiveness of the act)–there’s an underlying maxim that boys will be boys. A short suspension, perhaps an essay-writing assignment (which the administration denies, but whether or not it’s true, is it that much different from writing I shall not rape on a blackboard 100 times?) a generic “rape is bad” statement, and a pretense of an investigation where they claim to not have found enough evidence, and all can be well. Until the next incident. Nowhere do they apologize: to the victim, or to the rest of the women on campus. And though the Cornell administration does make a few hand-wringing remarks about the awfulness of the incident, nowhere do they say what strong and definitive steps they’ll take to change a campus culture where drugging and raping women is just part of the party.

But this may be because Cornell can’t singlehandedly change a culture that’s pervasive in all our institutions. Just look at the personal histories of the current leaders of our country. And we wring our hands, because boys will be boys. In 2016 when the current occupant of the White House jolted the airwaves with his “grab ’em by the p*ssy” remark, it should have been the end of his campaign. Instead he got elected. And elected again.

Jane Doe deserves not only an apology from Cornell. She deserves to have her entire tuition refunded (which she requested and they denied). She also should have free access on Cornell’s dime to the school of her choice. And while I’m glad that the prosecutor is re-opening an investigation, I’m not in favor of prison for the Cornell 7, because the prison system is also part of the problem. I do think those that graduated should have their degrees revoked with felonies noted on their record. And if there were an effective program to get these men and others to truly understand the daily harms committed because of this cultural mindset, and a way for them to spend thousands of community service hours educating others on respectful treatment of women, that would be true restorative justice.

And I also think they should be branded as sex offenders for the rest of their lives–as should the many others who commit similar acts and get away with them. But nothing will really change even then, until the term “sex offender” actually means something.

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